"Oh, you're still _____?!"
"You know, if you did (things my way) then (I might not tell you about it as much)."
"Don't you think they're a little old for that?"
"What did you do all day?"
"What do you mean, you don't have time? It's not like you WORK or anything!"
"Maybe you just need some time management skills."
"Can't you control your children!?"
"Wow, don't you know how birth control works?!"
I have a friend who actually heard this from some lady at the grocery store!
Everyone seems to want to tell you what you're doing wrong or how you SHOULD (according to them) be doing it differently. If you're anything like me, you don't need any exterior criticism to feel like you're not living up to expectations as a wife/mom/friend.
We are all making decisions based on our own family, our own circumstances and our own convictions. So long as my decisions aren't hurting or posing a threat to the safety of my children, let it go! It may not be what you do/did with your kids - but we each have to make choices based on our own family. If you think that donuts for breakfast every day is fine - do it. If you decide to give your baby formula - good for you. If you want to work outside your home - get a job. Make choices that work for your family. Do us all a favor though, don't live your life by indecision (more on that another day).
Let's cut one another some slack. Trust that people are making the best decisions that they are capable of making, and encourage them! Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong - find something they're doing great. Then the hard part (if you're a true Minnesotan anyway) TELL THEM!
The Bible has a lot to say on encouragement, let's change the norm from criticism to encouragement. We are all doing the best we can!
We are all making decisions based on our own family, our own circumstances and our own convictions. So long as my decisions aren't hurting or posing a threat to the safety of my children, let it go! It may not be what you do/did with your kids - but we each have to make choices based on our own family. If you think that donuts for breakfast every day is fine - do it. If you decide to give your baby formula - good for you. If you want to work outside your home - get a job. Make choices that work for your family. Do us all a favor though, don't live your life by indecision (more on that another day).
Let's cut one another some slack. Trust that people are making the best decisions that they are capable of making, and encourage them! Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong - find something they're doing great. Then the hard part (if you're a true Minnesotan anyway) TELL THEM!
The Bible has a lot to say on encouragement, let's change the norm from criticism to encouragement. We are all doing the best we can!
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Just a couple weeks ago, I had a lady at a garage sale, whom I had never met before, say to me, "I have one question. Are you all done having kids?!?" Then she proceeded to tell me that she spaced her kids out 13 years apart on purpose so she would have a babysitter for the younger one. I wanted to say "Good for you," but in my nice MN way, I just smiled....at a loss for words.
ReplyDeleteThat is just terrible. I mean, I realize that the current trend is to have 2 kids spaced fairly far apart ... but that is just ridiculous (on SO MANY levels)! So not only, is her first-born treated as a built-in (and expected) babysitter (which I HATED by the way) - she's criticizing others for not doing things her way -- ARRGH! People are NUTS! I think you should have said something back to her - but I'm thinking something more sarcastic though ... "Actually, I'm thinking of having x more!" "I was hoping for a ___ team!" *sigh* I wouldn't have said anything either.
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