A challenge

I was recently challenged by a friend to write posts about all aspects of being the mom that I am.  I am officially accepting this challenge and starting now I will post once/week on various aspects of motherhood.

Let me first say that I am not a perfect mother, nor am I saying that my way is best.  I am simply going to share what we have done in our house and what has worked/not worked for our family.

So ... to start this challenge - let's start at the beginning :)  We were married for about 2 years before deciding that we were ready to begin our journey as parents.  We didn't know then what a long journey we were in for ... turns out that getting pregnant isn't always so easy!  We worked with various teams of medical professionals for just under 2 years before we got the joyous call saying that the blood-test they had run that morning came back positive!!!  All of the tests, endless monitoring, shots and other medications that toyed with my emotions - it was all suddenly worth every minute!  To say that we were excited would be an understatement!

We lived much of those two years in silence about what we were going through.  It was just not something that we talked about - how do you even bring that up in conversation?  "Hi, how are you?  We're trying to have a baby, but that isn't going so well."  Yeah ... I don't think so.  We didn't know anyone else who had ever gone through anything like this, so who would we turn to anyway?  It was hard, if I had something to go back and do over with this process, that would make the short list.  To have people around you, those who genuinely care, supporting you is worth the awkward conversation of telling someone what you are going though.  You may even be surprised by who else knows just what you're going through. :)

Until next week :)

Next up: pregnancy

Summer in review

WOW!  What a summer!  

We started our summer (May) with a cross country road trip with our kiddos :)  It was a lot of work, but so worth it in the end!  We got to spend time with family and friends across several states.  Driving is more work than flying, but so much cheaper in the end.  It can be done, friends - and even can be *gasp* enjoyable!

When we got back home, we started working on a playhouse for our girls.  Kate and I designed it, and David built it.  It took MUCH longer than either of us ever imagined, but it is pretty much done now and the kids really love to play in it!  Kate's favorite part was choosing the paint colors and then helping me to paint the inside.  Oh - and I broke my toe!!

July brought the first birthday party of our sweet niece, an incredibly hot Independence Day, and then the wedding of some sweet friends.

August was spent getting ready for my 30th birthday -- I think my Dad is having a harder time with the fact that his child is 30 than I am!!  We had a fantastic time with friends, enjoying the back yard (cooler weather too) and chatting.  It was the perfect way to spend my birthday.

That brings us to September, the start of our homeschooling adventure.  Kate is officially in preschool and we are loving the ability to teach her at home and I really love watching her learn and grasp new things.  

I am also back to blogging - so many thoughts rolling around in my mind, if you have thoughts on anything in particular you'd like to see - let me know!!  It's fun to be back, my friends!

If you can't say something nice ....

"Oh, you're still _____?!"

"You know, if you did (things my way) then (I might not tell you about it as much)."

"Don't you think they're a little old for that?"

"What did you do all day?"

"What do you mean, you don't have time? It's not like you WORK or anything!"

"Maybe you just need some time management skills."

"Can't you control your children!?"

"Wow, don't you know how birth control works?!"

I have a friend who actually heard this from some lady at the grocery store!

Everyone seems to want to tell you what you're doing wrong or how you SHOULD (according to them) be doing it differently.  If you're anything like me, you don't need any exterior criticism to feel like you're not living up to expectations as a wife/mom/friend.


We are all making decisions based on our own family, our own circumstances and our own convictions.  So long as my decisions aren't hurting or posing a threat to the safety of my children, let it go!  It may not be what you do/did with your kids - but we each have to make choices based on our own family.  If you think that donuts for breakfast every day is fine - do it.  If you decide to give your baby formula - good for you.  If you want to work outside your home - get a job.  Make choices that work for your family.  Do us all a favor though, don't live your life by indecision (more on that another day).  


Let's cut one another some slack.  Trust that people are making the best decisions that they are capable of making, and encourage them!  Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong - find something they're doing great.  Then the hard part (if you're a true Minnesotan anyway) TELL THEM! 


The Bible has a lot to say on encouragement, let's change the norm from criticism to encouragement.  We are all doing the best we can!

1 Thessalonians 5:11

 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Cloth Diaper Review

We use a variety of pocket diapers in our house.  We chose pockets for the ease of use, and because they had the highest number "dad approved" comments.

Fuzzibuns one-size -- unique in that it doesn't have snaps, but rather elastic on the inside for size adjustments.  It is also very trim.  That's about it for this one though. Overall, I don't like this diaper and it is generally my last to use (meaning, only when I have run out of others and they're not dry yet).  It is difficult to stuff and just generally makes me nervous that it is going to leak (although it never has).

Oh Katy! -- loved the price point of this diaper. I like that the inside is microfleece, and that it can fold/close on itself.  Overall, it is a good diaper - however, I like the others better.

Booty Buns -- This diaper is VERY versatile with weights ranging from 3-45 pounds.  It goes VERY small (can fit around a marker) through potty training.  It could very easily be the only diaper you ever need!  They also give one diaper to a child in need for every one that you purchase. It comes with everything you'll need to cloth diaper your child (outside, insert, infant insert/doubler, flannel "top sheet" and a coordinating wash cloth).  They have inner gussets and I really enjoy these diapers.  The inserts can snap into the diaper and they have openings on each end for easy in and out.

BumGenius -- I was told that these would be my favorite diaper.  Many, MANY people love them.  I do agree, they're fabulous.  I do wish that they had the inner gussets, but that is about all I have to "complain" about.  I've not had a mess leak out of them even without the inner gussets.  These diapers are really wonderful.

Rump-a-rooz -- These are more trim than the Booty Buns or BumGenius.  Have inner gussets and are the most absorbent diaper I have.  The liners that come with them will hold a lot!  I use these as a first choice for my overnight diapers.  The inside is microfleece, they have double gussets. I simply think they're wonderful.  My only concern with them is that they're not quite as "big" (long?) as the others.  I worry that they won't fit as long as the others will.

That's my take on the brands that we've used :) 

Diapers

When I was pregnant with my first baby (3.5 years ago), my brain and conversations were filled with all things baby.  The one thing that I never even really gave much thought to was the type of diaper I was going to use.  I mean, of course I would use disposable diapers - that's what everyone does, isn't it?  I did have a few conversations with friends about diapers.  Ranging from "whatever brand I can get for cheap/free" to cloth diapers.  Truth be told, the friends who use cloth I thought were nuts and that they'd "see the light" and switch to disposable after just a few diapers.

I happily ignorantly used disposable diapers with my daughter.  I found great joy and satisfaction in finding the best deal I could on them.  I don't think I EVER paid more than $.03/diaper for name-brand diapers.  It was awesome!  With prices that low, there was no question.

Fast forward to January 2012 ... I now have a new little person in diapers.  She had just turned 1 and I finally reached my breaking point with disposable diapers.  The prices had gone up SIGNIFICANTLY.  At this point $.25 was a "good" price/diaper (yeah, that adds up FAST), and one of our favorite brands switched their "technology" which gave my poor baby a horrible diaper rash!  I was DONE!  

So, what does a frustrated mom do?  Post to Facebook!  I looked to my friends for input on cloth vs disposable diapers -- within 30 minutes there were 50-something comments to my simple question, and I had some research to do.   The more I researched, the more I really wanted to switch to cloth.

I decided to let my husband have the final say, knowing he'd veto immediately.  Much to my surprise, he told me that if I am not getting good deals, and it'd be cheaper to do cloth to show him the numbers.  So, I did the math, figured out as best I could the actual cost to us of making the switch (still knowing that he was going to veto).  When he looked at the numbers, realized how much money we were throwing away each month, he told me to "go for it" on one condition - I am NEVER to wash his work clothes in the load immediately following diapers :).  Sold.

I scoured the internet and found the best deal on a few brands of diapers that I liked.  Ordered, waited, washed and LOVE!  After just a few diapers, even my husband told me that he prefers cloth to disposable.  I have been SO happy with them.  

The only downside is remembering that I don't have an "unlimited" supply - meaning, I have to make sure that I'm thinking enough ahead to have them clean (and dry) BEFORE we run out!  

Want to know what we're using?  That's coming up next :)

Tested Resolve

Why is it that when I decide to do/change something that my decision is challenged the very next day/hour/minute?

I have been singing the fruit of the Spirit to my girls recently. I want them to grow up knowing Biblical principles and at their young ages songs are a fantastic method. They both enjoy music and I enjoy singing to them.

In doing this, I have been challenged in my own behaviors/actions. Stop and think about it:

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

If we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit."

Galatians 5:22-23a, 25

I know that I need more of all of these characteristics in my life. Add to this coming across:

"Be completely humble and gentle;

be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Ephesians 4:2-3

So, I decided that I need to work on gentleness (first). I don't want my children to grow up with even perceived hostility. I want to use a softer tone, I do not want to simply yell from across the room/house because I don't feel like getting up and walking to them. I want them to know that they are valued enough to be talked to in a normal tone. I want to show them what it means to be gentle and to have a gentle spirit. That being said, I am still learning what that means and looks like in my daily life.

I decided this one evening after my girls were in bed. THE VERY NEXT MORNING my resolve was tested. They woke up fighting and arguing and just being ... well ... in hindsight - kids. But, I tell you - that was a very hard time to stick to my guns. I am proud to say that I did manage to not just say "maybe I'll start tomorrow" and give up (I did think it several times). You know what happened over the course of the morning? They calmed down. They stopped yelling/screaming and eventually played very nicely. I don't expect that to work so well every time, but what a great encouragement!

Busy?

I had a great time visiting with a good friend yesterday. Our conversation raised a thought provoking question: Why is how busy you are so often equated to how you're doing?

How I am doing (feeling) should not be measured in respect to the fullness of my calendar. That being said, my response to her was something more along the lines of "we've been really busy, but we're doing pretty well.". I had not thought about how often I view my sense of well being to my calendar. You see, I very much dislike being busy. I would MUCH rather look at a blank calendar than one filled with something happening each day ... I like down-time, I like to be low-key.

I think that the world around us has done us a great disservice. We constantly feel that we must be doing something or going somewhere. Staying home and spending time with my family is just not good enough. I don't want my girls to grow up with that mindset, which naturally means I need to change my own.

So, the next time someone asks "How are you doing?" take the time to really think about your answer, are you really that tied to your calendar for your emotional well being?