Perfect Moms Need Not Apply

Are you a perfect mom?  By that, I mean, do you do the right thing at the right time with the right attitude EVERY time?  If so, stop reading now ... or maybe give yourself some grace and read on (you know what you need).

This year I was given a surprise gift from someone that I don't even know - the opportunity to be on the launch team for a great new book!  The book is titled No More Perfect Moms, written by Jill Savage.  If you are unfamiliar with her, she is the founder and CEO of Hearts at Home.  I was able to attend my first Hearts at Home conference this past fall in Rochester, let me tell you, it was life-changing and encouraging and challenging all a the same time.  In our registration bags, we were all given a preview of the book - which I promptly skimmed while waiting for mom's night out to start ... I knew, then and there, that I would be purchasing this book, in fact I almost pre-ordered it at the conference.

Fast forward to the week before Christmas when I got a glorious email saying that I had been selected to be part of the launch team for this fantastic book!  I was beside myself excited!  Now, I get to tell you all about the book and how fabulous it really is and wet your appetite for your copy!  

Are you so excited that you can hardly wait?  I am!  Here are some ways that you can be involved now and get the most from the book:

 1. Sign up for Jill Savage's "No More Perfect Moms" 31-Day Email Challenge. You don't have to have the book {which doesn't release until February anyway} to be part of this. Click here to sign up so you can start receiving real-life encouragement in your inbox on Jan. 1 (tomorrow).

2. Don't buy the book yet, but get ready to do so Feb. 4-9. Along with the release of "No More Perfect Moms," Hearts at Home and Moody Publishers will offer additional bonus resources worth more than $100 if you order/buy the book anytime Feb. 4-9. Click here to learn more about this and sign up to be reminded of the release date.  We want to get the book on the Best Seller List so that more mom's can be reached.

3. Visit "No More Perfect Moms" website. This is where you can share stories, learn more about the book, and view motherhood resources.

I look forward to making motherhood real with you, my friends!

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A PDF copy of the book was given to me to review, but the thoughts and commentary are mine.

I haven't forgotten ...

Merry Christmas. my dear friends!  I haven't forgotten about you, or the next mommy advice post ... but I want it to have pictures, and can't seem to find the time to take them! 

We've had a lot going on around our house (who hasn't these days, right?) - it all started with sick kids over Thanksgiving, and has just gotten busier and  busier by the day!  David has been on vacation all week, and we have yet to be home for a day (or even half a day) - yikes!  Tis the season, right? 

Thinking of and praying for safe travels and a very merry Christmas for you!

Labor and Delivery

So, as promised (and just a bit overdue, but hey - babies work on their own time-table too!), here is my take on labor and delivery :)

WARNING - MY STORY IS NOT "NORMAL"

As we neared the end of my pregnancy with Kate, I was finding myself thankful that I had gestational diabetes.  You see, my doctor told me that she would not let me go past my due date!  So, with Kate, I was induced on my due date (well, the night before) :)  (Jenna was another story!).

I was told to call into the hospital at 6:30am, and that they would then "put me on the list" and call me when I could come to the hospital.  Let me tell you, that day was the longest day of my entire pregnancy!  When they FINALLY called at 8:00pm, I was ecstatic!  We eagerly drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, checked in and waited some more.  Finally, at 11pm I was given cytotec (to "ripen" my cervix - how's that for TMI?!) and told that I would get that every 4 hours until they had seen sufficient progress; then I would be switched to pitocin to bring on labor.

David and I decided that we would do our best to get as much sleep as we could (although we were VERY excited).  Around 2:30am I woke up; feeling something strange.  Decided I must just need to go to the bathroom, got up and realized that strange feeling had been my water breaking - decided to go back to sleep, because I could.  At 3:00am  I woke up, unable to sleep through the contractions anymore.  So, we got up and used all of the things we learned in our birthing classes.  Around 4:00am, I realized that this could go on for a very long time (most first babies are 10+ hours in labor) - and I wasn't so sure I could go through with my no medication plan.  So, I had David tell the nurse that I wanted something to take the edge off.  The very next contraction, I looked at the nurse and told her "I know you're going to tell me it's not time - but I feel like I need to push." She immediately had me get into the bed so she could check my progress and told me that there were going to be no pain meds in my future - I was going to push on the next contraction!  So, I pushed for a couple contractions and then was told that I had to wait because the doctor was not in the room to catch the baby.  I waited as best I could through several contractions (that is VERY hard to do, by the way) - then asked the nurse if the doctor was ever going to come, because I just couldn't do that anymore.  (She later told us that she was just about to push the "code" button when the dr arrived).  Well, the doctor FINALLY arrived, thinking that she'd have some time before our baby was ready - the nurse told her to get ready as fast as humanly possible - this baby is coming - NOW!

At 4:28am, our little princess came into the world and changed our lives forever.  We were now parents to this little 8 pound 2 ounce, 21.5 inch angel (who is now 4 - HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!).  What a difference a few hours made!

The next morning the nurse who checked me in came to say hi and see how we were doing - every staff member who came into my room talked of how very fast Kate came and how they were all surprised and amazed that I did it all without medication.

You know what?  I wouldn't have it any other way!!

Next time: carseats (be warned, this is a topic of passion of mine)

Pregnancy

Ok - so maybe once a week was a bit ambitious for this stage of life .... we'll see!

As promised, here's my take on pregnancy:

After waiting almost 2 years to hear the magical words "you're pregnant!" you'd think that I'd have been more prepared.  Instead the conversation went something like this:

"Is this Sara?"

"Yes it is."

"Hi Sara, this is (someone) from Dr. Campbell's office.  

I wanted to let you know that your pregnancy test came back positive.  

Congratulations!"

"What?!  Are you serious?!?!!?!?!?!?!?"

"Oh, honey - I wouldn't joke about this!"

I was beside myself surprised, excited.  There were NO WORDS to describe the feeling I had at that moment.  The best part?!  My employer (I was a nanny at the time) was sitting across the table from me when I got the call (yes, they knew we were trying and that I was expecting the call that afternoon) - she told me how excited she was and then excused herself from the room so I could call David!

My pregnancy with Kate was ... well ... magical!  It was all so new, I had only ever dreamed of what it could possibly be like.  Now, the magic was not all fun - I was pretty sick in the first trimester -- but once that was done - pure bliss!  Well ... until I got a positive test for gestational diabetes .. but even that was manageable in light that I was doing what I was doing to grow a healthy HUMAN BEING!

I loved to feel my baby kick and move and roll - I even loved getting up in the middle of the night for a billion trips to the bathroom!!  It was just wonderful. 

Pregnancy is a blast, I LOVE it!!!!

Now, I know that not everyone loves (or even likes) being pregnant, and I'm not sure what else to tell you about it - it's kind of a hands-on experience.  Everyone reacts differently, for example - I become VERY outspoken and opinionated when I am pregnant!  (hard to believe, if you know me otherwise, I know)  Oh - and a word on cravings ... mine were not all that weird, but very specific ... for example - I sent David out to the grocery store minutes before it closed for Bomb Pops -- but not just any kind, they had to be the ones that just melt in your mouth ... the ones that have ridges around the outside and are just the best!  (yes, that is the description I sent him with - I now know that they are Blue Bunny ones)

My advice - pick up a copy of  "Your Baby Week-By-Week" and ENJOY IT!!  Oh - and skip "What to expect when you're expecting" ... I thought that one was pretty useless.  Oh - also get "The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" - it will have you in hysterics!!

Up next - labor and delivery (the fun stuff)

A challenge

I was recently challenged by a friend to write posts about all aspects of being the mom that I am.  I am officially accepting this challenge and starting now I will post once/week on various aspects of motherhood.

Let me first say that I am not a perfect mother, nor am I saying that my way is best.  I am simply going to share what we have done in our house and what has worked/not worked for our family.

So ... to start this challenge - let's start at the beginning :)  We were married for about 2 years before deciding that we were ready to begin our journey as parents.  We didn't know then what a long journey we were in for ... turns out that getting pregnant isn't always so easy!  We worked with various teams of medical professionals for just under 2 years before we got the joyous call saying that the blood-test they had run that morning came back positive!!!  All of the tests, endless monitoring, shots and other medications that toyed with my emotions - it was all suddenly worth every minute!  To say that we were excited would be an understatement!

We lived much of those two years in silence about what we were going through.  It was just not something that we talked about - how do you even bring that up in conversation?  "Hi, how are you?  We're trying to have a baby, but that isn't going so well."  Yeah ... I don't think so.  We didn't know anyone else who had ever gone through anything like this, so who would we turn to anyway?  It was hard, if I had something to go back and do over with this process, that would make the short list.  To have people around you, those who genuinely care, supporting you is worth the awkward conversation of telling someone what you are going though.  You may even be surprised by who else knows just what you're going through. :)

Until next week :)

Next up: pregnancy

Summer in review

WOW!  What a summer!  

We started our summer (May) with a cross country road trip with our kiddos :)  It was a lot of work, but so worth it in the end!  We got to spend time with family and friends across several states.  Driving is more work than flying, but so much cheaper in the end.  It can be done, friends - and even can be *gasp* enjoyable!

When we got back home, we started working on a playhouse for our girls.  Kate and I designed it, and David built it.  It took MUCH longer than either of us ever imagined, but it is pretty much done now and the kids really love to play in it!  Kate's favorite part was choosing the paint colors and then helping me to paint the inside.  Oh - and I broke my toe!!

July brought the first birthday party of our sweet niece, an incredibly hot Independence Day, and then the wedding of some sweet friends.

August was spent getting ready for my 30th birthday -- I think my Dad is having a harder time with the fact that his child is 30 than I am!!  We had a fantastic time with friends, enjoying the back yard (cooler weather too) and chatting.  It was the perfect way to spend my birthday.

That brings us to September, the start of our homeschooling adventure.  Kate is officially in preschool and we are loving the ability to teach her at home and I really love watching her learn and grasp new things.  

I am also back to blogging - so many thoughts rolling around in my mind, if you have thoughts on anything in particular you'd like to see - let me know!!  It's fun to be back, my friends!

If you can't say something nice ....

"Oh, you're still _____?!"

"You know, if you did (things my way) then (I might not tell you about it as much)."

"Don't you think they're a little old for that?"

"What did you do all day?"

"What do you mean, you don't have time? It's not like you WORK or anything!"

"Maybe you just need some time management skills."

"Can't you control your children!?"

"Wow, don't you know how birth control works?!"

I have a friend who actually heard this from some lady at the grocery store!

Everyone seems to want to tell you what you're doing wrong or how you SHOULD (according to them) be doing it differently.  If you're anything like me, you don't need any exterior criticism to feel like you're not living up to expectations as a wife/mom/friend.


We are all making decisions based on our own family, our own circumstances and our own convictions.  So long as my decisions aren't hurting or posing a threat to the safety of my children, let it go!  It may not be what you do/did with your kids - but we each have to make choices based on our own family.  If you think that donuts for breakfast every day is fine - do it.  If you decide to give your baby formula - good for you.  If you want to work outside your home - get a job.  Make choices that work for your family.  Do us all a favor though, don't live your life by indecision (more on that another day).  


Let's cut one another some slack.  Trust that people are making the best decisions that they are capable of making, and encourage them!  Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong - find something they're doing great.  Then the hard part (if you're a true Minnesotan anyway) TELL THEM! 


The Bible has a lot to say on encouragement, let's change the norm from criticism to encouragement.  We are all doing the best we can!

1 Thessalonians 5:11

 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Cloth Diaper Review

We use a variety of pocket diapers in our house.  We chose pockets for the ease of use, and because they had the highest number "dad approved" comments.

Fuzzibuns one-size -- unique in that it doesn't have snaps, but rather elastic on the inside for size adjustments.  It is also very trim.  That's about it for this one though. Overall, I don't like this diaper and it is generally my last to use (meaning, only when I have run out of others and they're not dry yet).  It is difficult to stuff and just generally makes me nervous that it is going to leak (although it never has).

Oh Katy! -- loved the price point of this diaper. I like that the inside is microfleece, and that it can fold/close on itself.  Overall, it is a good diaper - however, I like the others better.

Booty Buns -- This diaper is VERY versatile with weights ranging from 3-45 pounds.  It goes VERY small (can fit around a marker) through potty training.  It could very easily be the only diaper you ever need!  They also give one diaper to a child in need for every one that you purchase. It comes with everything you'll need to cloth diaper your child (outside, insert, infant insert/doubler, flannel "top sheet" and a coordinating wash cloth).  They have inner gussets and I really enjoy these diapers.  The inserts can snap into the diaper and they have openings on each end for easy in and out.

BumGenius -- I was told that these would be my favorite diaper.  Many, MANY people love them.  I do agree, they're fabulous.  I do wish that they had the inner gussets, but that is about all I have to "complain" about.  I've not had a mess leak out of them even without the inner gussets.  These diapers are really wonderful.

Rump-a-rooz -- These are more trim than the Booty Buns or BumGenius.  Have inner gussets and are the most absorbent diaper I have.  The liners that come with them will hold a lot!  I use these as a first choice for my overnight diapers.  The inside is microfleece, they have double gussets. I simply think they're wonderful.  My only concern with them is that they're not quite as "big" (long?) as the others.  I worry that they won't fit as long as the others will.

That's my take on the brands that we've used :) 

Diapers

When I was pregnant with my first baby (3.5 years ago), my brain and conversations were filled with all things baby.  The one thing that I never even really gave much thought to was the type of diaper I was going to use.  I mean, of course I would use disposable diapers - that's what everyone does, isn't it?  I did have a few conversations with friends about diapers.  Ranging from "whatever brand I can get for cheap/free" to cloth diapers.  Truth be told, the friends who use cloth I thought were nuts and that they'd "see the light" and switch to disposable after just a few diapers.

I happily ignorantly used disposable diapers with my daughter.  I found great joy and satisfaction in finding the best deal I could on them.  I don't think I EVER paid more than $.03/diaper for name-brand diapers.  It was awesome!  With prices that low, there was no question.

Fast forward to January 2012 ... I now have a new little person in diapers.  She had just turned 1 and I finally reached my breaking point with disposable diapers.  The prices had gone up SIGNIFICANTLY.  At this point $.25 was a "good" price/diaper (yeah, that adds up FAST), and one of our favorite brands switched their "technology" which gave my poor baby a horrible diaper rash!  I was DONE!  

So, what does a frustrated mom do?  Post to Facebook!  I looked to my friends for input on cloth vs disposable diapers -- within 30 minutes there were 50-something comments to my simple question, and I had some research to do.   The more I researched, the more I really wanted to switch to cloth.

I decided to let my husband have the final say, knowing he'd veto immediately.  Much to my surprise, he told me that if I am not getting good deals, and it'd be cheaper to do cloth to show him the numbers.  So, I did the math, figured out as best I could the actual cost to us of making the switch (still knowing that he was going to veto).  When he looked at the numbers, realized how much money we were throwing away each month, he told me to "go for it" on one condition - I am NEVER to wash his work clothes in the load immediately following diapers :).  Sold.

I scoured the internet and found the best deal on a few brands of diapers that I liked.  Ordered, waited, washed and LOVE!  After just a few diapers, even my husband told me that he prefers cloth to disposable.  I have been SO happy with them.  

The only downside is remembering that I don't have an "unlimited" supply - meaning, I have to make sure that I'm thinking enough ahead to have them clean (and dry) BEFORE we run out!  

Want to know what we're using?  That's coming up next :)

Tested Resolve

Why is it that when I decide to do/change something that my decision is challenged the very next day/hour/minute?

I have been singing the fruit of the Spirit to my girls recently. I want them to grow up knowing Biblical principles and at their young ages songs are a fantastic method. They both enjoy music and I enjoy singing to them.

In doing this, I have been challenged in my own behaviors/actions. Stop and think about it:

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

If we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit."

Galatians 5:22-23a, 25

I know that I need more of all of these characteristics in my life. Add to this coming across:

"Be completely humble and gentle;

be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Ephesians 4:2-3

So, I decided that I need to work on gentleness (first). I don't want my children to grow up with even perceived hostility. I want to use a softer tone, I do not want to simply yell from across the room/house because I don't feel like getting up and walking to them. I want them to know that they are valued enough to be talked to in a normal tone. I want to show them what it means to be gentle and to have a gentle spirit. That being said, I am still learning what that means and looks like in my daily life.

I decided this one evening after my girls were in bed. THE VERY NEXT MORNING my resolve was tested. They woke up fighting and arguing and just being ... well ... in hindsight - kids. But, I tell you - that was a very hard time to stick to my guns. I am proud to say that I did manage to not just say "maybe I'll start tomorrow" and give up (I did think it several times). You know what happened over the course of the morning? They calmed down. They stopped yelling/screaming and eventually played very nicely. I don't expect that to work so well every time, but what a great encouragement!

Busy?

I had a great time visiting with a good friend yesterday. Our conversation raised a thought provoking question: Why is how busy you are so often equated to how you're doing?

How I am doing (feeling) should not be measured in respect to the fullness of my calendar. That being said, my response to her was something more along the lines of "we've been really busy, but we're doing pretty well.". I had not thought about how often I view my sense of well being to my calendar. You see, I very much dislike being busy. I would MUCH rather look at a blank calendar than one filled with something happening each day ... I like down-time, I like to be low-key.

I think that the world around us has done us a great disservice. We constantly feel that we must be doing something or going somewhere. Staying home and spending time with my family is just not good enough. I don't want my girls to grow up with that mindset, which naturally means I need to change my own.

So, the next time someone asks "How are you doing?" take the time to really think about your answer, are you really that tied to your calendar for your emotional well being?

Investments

About an hour ago this was a post in my head about how recipes are for sharing. As I made my cinnamon rolls, I realized that my this wasn't really about the recipes, rather the people they came from...

We choose to invest in things a million times a day. We invest in our homes, our children, our spouses. We invest in our friends, in the internet, in naps. We make literally thousands of choices each day, determining what is most important in that minute. For example, right now I am investing in this blog post instead of my dishes (I may regret that in an hour or so).

I have been blessed to have many, many people who have invested SO MUCH into my life. Many of whom will never read this. Without their emotional, time, and personal investment into my life I doubt I would be who I am today. Some of them may not even realize just how influential they have been. THAT makes me stop and think. How am I investing in the lives of others? Am I choosing to be intentional in my investments? Am I investing in the right things? Am I seeking council from those that I look up to? Do I allow others to walk by my side? Am I setting a good example for my children? So many other questions could fill these lines, but they all come down to the decisions that I make each day and one final question.

Where do I lay my priorities?

I would love to say that I make the right choice every time. That I never choose facebook over reading a story to my girls; that I think each choice that I make through and am confident that I am doing the right thing. However, that is not the case. Instead, I do the best I can and ask forgiveness over and over and over again. Then pray that I can learn from my shortcomings to be a better wife, mom and woman.

Way to go moms!

There's a quote on the wall at our Children's Museum:

"The Marines have it wrong,

this is the toughest job you'll ever love."

As a mom, I have to agree. While I would never want to be a Marine, and I am NOT saying that I could do their job. However, being a mom is a very difficult and often overlooked job.

Mothers are all around us. They have many different faces, many different ways of life and many different careers. While I am blessed enough to get to stay home with my girls, most of my mommy friends also have to bring in additional income.

Being a mom is all encompassing, it's a part of everything we do. No part of my day is exempt from this job. I work on a 24 hour schedule, 7 days a week ... and you know what? I wouldn't give that up for ANYTHING!